You are afraid to go there, that's the truth.
It is not that you are more comfortable here, or that it would take some effort to pack your things and get there, it is not even because you hace no friends there nowadays. It's because you are scared.
It is a place in your mind, where so many beautiful things happened, where you built so many lasting things, things that, even now, are present within you. But it is also a place only of memories, a place of the past, a place that holds all the good memories of the life of a person that you isn't you anymore. It is not a place where you can be in the present, for the you that fits there doesn't exist anymore. Furthermore, the person you used to be is still there, and you fear that if you go you might be absorbed, that you might disappear under the shadow of your past.
What can you find there, but something you rejected? What can you do there, if you did everything already? How can you even sleep there, when your mind will be filled with all the smells and the sights and the feelings that you swore to never let in again?
